Chapter 1: The Little Girl

The End of One Era. The Beginning of Another.

As my 40th birthday gets closer, I've found myself thinking a lot about the little girl I used to be. Funny enough... I don't remember every detail of my childhood. I remember feelings. I remember moments. I remember pieces of a story that, at the time, seemed ordinary, but looking back now became the foundation of who I am.

Although my parents separated when I was young, we stayed in the same little house until I was about thirteen or fourteen. It sat on a quiet dead-end street, and if you hopped the fence in our backyard, you were at the park. Looking back, it feels like the kind of childhood that doesn't exist much anymore.

There were no smartphones. No social media. No endless scrolling. If our friends were outside, we knew exactly where to find them. We rode our bikes until the streetlights came on, climbed trees, built forts, and came home only when someone yelled our name from the front porch. That's where I first learned what freedom felt like, not the kind that comes from having no responsibilities, but the kind that comes from being completely present in the moment.

Some of my favorite memories are the simplest ones. Summers spent at my Noni's house in New York. Swinging in the backyard until the sun started to go down. Visiting my grandma and running across the street to see the cows. Fishing trips and vacations with my dad. Those moments didn't seem extraordinary back then.

Today, they're some of the memories I hold onto the most. If there's one person who helped shape me from the very beginning, it was my Noni. She taught me how to take care of myself. How to cook. How to create. How to appreciate the little things.

My mom taught me something just as important. Strength. She showed me that women don't have to wait for someone else to build the life they want. She taught me that independence isn't something to fear, it's something to be proud of.

Looking back now, I realize those two incredible women gave me gifts that I still carry with me every single day.

Even as a little girl, I was always creating something. I'd spend hours decorating my room. I loved drawing. DIY projects were my favorite. I even put on elaborate performances starring my Beanie Babies (yes... they had full storylines 😂). I didn't realize it then, but creativity wasn't just something I enjoyed. It was part of who I was.

For a while, I dreamed of becoming an interior designer. Then one day I discovered David Tutera. I remember watching him and thinking, "One day everyone is going to know my name." Life, of course, had other plans. Or maybe... It had better ones.

If you had asked that little girl who she was, I honestly don't think she would've known. She was shy. Quiet. Always observing more than speaking. She hadn't found her confidence yet. She hadn't found her voice. She certainly hadn't found herself. But she had something far more important. She had curiosity. She had imagination. She had a heart that loved creating beautiful things.

Looking back after almost forty years, I realize something that little girl never could have understood. She didn't need to become someone else. She was already becoming exactly who she was meant to be.

Tomorrow, I'll tell you about the years I spent trying to fit into a world where I never quite felt like I belonged... and how music became the place where I finally felt understood.

🖤

The End of One Era. The Beginning of Another.

7 Days.